what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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