Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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