I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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