I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
