He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
