it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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