windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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