using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ttyl tear gas
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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