just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
