So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
