i think my mom watched the whole time
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
