They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
