as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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