I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
