i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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