Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
