I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
