I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
