Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
