i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
