Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
