Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
