1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
