Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
