Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize