It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize