Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
