Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Randomize
