I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
