i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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