Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
