ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
