Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
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I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
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Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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