Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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