Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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