you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize