Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
