I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
