He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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