both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
