you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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