Barsexuality is the new black.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
