And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
