hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
