there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
