Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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