she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
