Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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