I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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