why didn't you poke me back
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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