Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
