You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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