end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
In other news, I just burned my penis
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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