You smell like a Billy Joel song
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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