Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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