He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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