Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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