i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
