I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
