Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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