i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
