you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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