drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
