Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Enjoy the penises
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
