Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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