i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize