he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
