I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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