Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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